so, after a sunny morning memorial day parade and running about in the ensuing storms, i sequestered myself into the porch and drew all day. So far. I mean, it's only 9:00... Who knows what else I might do...
This year is over. I am looking forward to next year. Believe it or not, I can't wait to graduate, because I love my major and have begun to believe I can do it.
I left Rochester this morning. I had a lot of things dawn on me, none of them good revelations necessarily, and said, "I need to get the f*** away from here". So I picked up and drove the seven some hours home, windows down, music blasting. It was so beautiful... Blue skies, motorcycles everywhere, and the rolling foothills of the Appalachians throughout PA. Even Cleveland looked pretty against good ol' smelly Lake Erie. Heck, I even reveled in some of the architecture of run down Toledo. I felt free. And dammit, I did it because I wanted to.
First thing I've done for myself in ... ages. I need to reflect that in my work from now on. I am my toughest critic, and if I can ever impress myself, I'll probably stand a better chance at impressing an art director. At the beginning of this year, I thought I wanted to paint rock stars and attractive people and nothing else. Now, I'm not so sure. I love painting gore and horror. Back when I did creative writing competitions, I realized I got higher scores if I made the judges cry; if I made them feel something. That and I honestly think my writing was better, because I just vomited twists of past experiences on the pages. It worked then, and is working again for me now. So I'll guess I'll see where this takes me.
I'll head back to new york tomorrow night for finals week. But I needed some support. I've been through a lot of rough things lately, from funerals in Florida to tough goodbyes. I'm too tired to have even bothered to do this, but sometimes... you just have to do what feels right. And what's seven hours in a car for a hug from someone you love?
That's the way I hope to be as an illustrator. I will go anywhere for a job. I look forward to it. Life is short. You never know when the rug might be pulled out.
This is how I feel about art. We're supposed to sum up our view of our work process in a sentence... Mine is... well... I feel it in my gut. I can't explain how I come up with stuff, I just kinda, vomit it on the page.
That top dude will be in my final digital mixed media project. He'll be popping out of my mouth. Aand... the rest are just doodling and ideas. Someday I might take the tree mother woman thing and actually do it... I sketched it during class tonight out of boredom.
And if anyone cares, I'm sketching out my summer.
Places I plan to go: San Diego, Quebec City, in and out of Roch and Ohio (home, cleveland, and cinci), NYC.
Places I wish I could go: Vancouver, Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, aand well, Paris. Hah.
Things I'm gonna do art-wise: Learn to draw hands. Learn to draw feet. Figure out what I want to draw the rest of my life. Do a couple landscapes, and other things I hate doing.
Draw a lot. Get better at digital. Maybe sketch a building or two.
And read a ton. Because that's where most of my inspiration comes from.